Two Worlds First Impressions
Two Worlds was very much savaged by the media come it’s release last year, and that largely influenced my choice to not purchase it until it was in the bargin bin. Four months later and it’s price has dropped like an anvil over the side of a skyscraper and I now have a copy to play. Two hours into the game now and while it isn’t the biggest RPG turd I have come across, technically this Oblivion wannabe is equivalent to a minor nuclear disaster. Remember game developers:- to make a game to rival Oblivion it helps to actually know about making games that y’know.. work.
My biggest complaint so far about Two Worlds is the fact that it was obviously playtested by people who were blind and couldn’t actually see the mess that was going on, on the screen. The graphics remind me of a slightly worse version of Fable on the Xbox and at times come close to just seeming like someone has vomited on my screen, even in HD. The visuals are so bad I have mistaken plants for people a number of time in these first few hours. Secondly despite the awful mess on screen the game has major framerate issues, it chugs along freezing spontaniously, sometimes for up to 10 seconds at a time. I can’t help but think “WHY!, the game looks like a very messy dogs behind! How could it feasibly have framerate problems when it’s so undetailed?” are the programmers morons?”. How did they fail to notice that technically their game sucks?
There is plenty of other stuff to bitch about in Two Worlds too. The voice acting is the “Forsooth:- Thou art a scurvy knave” variety and clearly was performed by random people who were dragged in off the street. Your character is also the equivalent of a 13th century Duke Nukem spewing random dialogue from time to time “Tis like my family reunion” I quip as a bunch of “Gromm’s” hove into view with me the player secretly willing the Gromms to win as the character I’m playing is such an unlikeable dickhead. Horses are certainly realistic, refusing to co-operate with your controls no matter what you do making walking prefferable and to cap it all off this is the PATCHED version I’m playing and all this stuff is still screwed even getting a simple achivement for riding a horse didnt register! What was the game like before the patch? Could you even walk? Crap like this is unacceptable and I wonder how the game developer can even consider working on the bloody expansion pack thats been announced for the original game before ironing out more of this bollocks.
That said, despite all my ranting above the game IS fun. Theres something oddly satisying about the gory hack and slash combat that makes me feel like im playing Diablo II again. Theres something compelling about the simplicity of the sidequests and the exploration involved with them. Theres something genuinally remarkable and creative in the games levelling up system which to be fair is one of the best I have come across and despite every sane bone in my body screaming “HATE TWO WORLDS”, I can’t. I shall definately be playing more and hopefully as I progress the standard will improve and I shall get the stupid horse achivement.
